When you hear the word cheating, some would picture people hiding their lovers in closets when their partners went home unexpectedly. For others, it might just be lipstick marks on a t-shirt or finding clothes that aren’t theirs in their drawers to plant a seed of suspicion.
We are all aware of the signs of physical cheating when someone looks for intimacy when their partners not capable of making them happy. But, there is also what you call emotional cheating — when someone is deeply attached to a person outside his/her relationship and feelings are already involved.
This type of cheating does not just occur on a whim, or with the trick of alcohol and a little teasing. It’s not just entirely based on a single event of deluded decisions but has a foundation of more intense and prolonged interactions that have been going on for a long time.
Dr. Melissa Schacter, a licensed expert on marriage and family, further explained that this type of cheating does not just happen on a chance encounter. This could even hurt more since there are already feelings attached to their extramarital actions.
She also explained that this type of affair has three key elements. First is an emotional connection, which is like being friends with someone, say a neighbor, but you find yourself opening up to him or her more than you would to your partner (not like in a gossipy way but in a deep way) and sharing a piece of yourself to your friend.
The second element is secrecy, which is when you tend to hide your conversations with your partner, or you two meet in incognito and your partner does not know about it. In this case, you might even have an extra phone just for them that you constantly hide, or you put a general nickname so your partner wouldn’t think that it’s someone special.
The third is the want and the need for you to touch them when just the thought of the person sends chills to your spine.
With the technology that we have today, Melissa warned us that it is now easier to cheat on someone emotionally and meet other people online. There are also some features and apps that make covering the cheater’s track so neat that no one would ever suspect them of their affairs.
A sudden change in their personality, like being more secretive and untalkative, or getting mad and defensive at you easily, are tell-tale signs that they might be having an emotional affair. A difference in their way of treating you, whether it’s inside or outside your bedroom, may also be their reaction to the extramarital activities they have.